“The Country, ” Deer Crossing and a Whole Lot of Laundry

US road warning sign: Deer crossing

For the month of August, we transported our family to “the country” (which, for me, means anything that is neither city nor suburb). While living in the country, I actually drove a car. Yes, I really did. I even learned how to turn the lights on at night and flick the brights on and off as needed. Hand to God. Did I have to give myself a pep talk before getting in the car everyday? Yes, I did. Did I like driving? No, I did not. Did I frequently talk to myself  about what decisions I was making while driving? Yes, I did. For example, at a four-way intersection that only had two stop signs, one of which was slanted and thus blocked my view of cars coming from the right, I was known to sing out “Here I cooooooome!” Ah, the memories of bucolic living.

Something I saw a lot of in the country was the above deer crossing sign. As with many things in life, my response to this sign was What??? What does it mean? I’m not being facetious. Ok, I am a little bit, but not entirely. I understand the point: deer have been known to cross the highway with frequency at or near where the sign is posted, so pay attention. Buuuuuuuut…don’t deer change their routes? Are they such creatures of habit, or sufferers of OCD, that they pick a spot and stick to it? All of the deer? Isn’t it safer for drivers to just assume that, when we’re in an area that is heavily populated by deer, we should pay extra attention to our surroundings? Actually, shouldn’t we always pay extra attention to our surroundings when driving, regardless of how many deer there are in the area? After all, so many people text while driving, and we should be just as concerned about them as about the deer. And regarding the deer signs, the lawyer in me asks “Can you sue the state/city/county when a deer crashes through your windshield if there weren’t signs posted, since the signs do exist?” Yes, I know, “Shut up.”

If we’re so sure of where the deer will be crossing the highway, why don’t we just build a few bridges for them? I’m sure they’d figure it out. Or maybe we could install traffic lights on the highway and the deer could push a button when they want to cross. While we’re at it, maybe homeowners  could put up signs on the edges of their property that say “Deer, please do not enter unless you are tick-free.”

Note: If you feel that this post is rambling and poorly written (now you say, “All of your posts are rambling and poorly written”), one reason is that I got out of the habit of writing when I lived in the country and did almost nothing but wash sheets and towels all day long. ALL. DAY. LONG. In fact, I may be experiencing some sort of Tide-related intellect deficiency disorder (a.k.a TIDD).